One Year
by Alikinginnit
Summary: "One year on from when I left and I still think about you." When Carla Connor returns to the street after a year with a surprise, will she find who she wants to or has something happened whilst she was away?
1. Shock

"That'll be 18.60 quid love," I'm suddenly snapped out of my trance to an agitated looking taxi driver.

"Yeah, here, keep the change, ta," quickly I grab my two surprisingly light bags in one of my hands and drag myself out of the cab.

Reaching in, I retrieve my one last item.

I didn't think this through. I haven't even got anywhere to stay. I can't carry all this.

Looking down I hear a quite whimper from the small carrier I've brought with me.

Peering in, I see Holly gently waking up from her nap. Just seeing her little face brings a smile to mine.

Who would've thought so much can change in a year?

I never wanted to be a mother. Neither of my parents were proper parents to me, so why should I have the opportunity to be one?

But, I did.

I didn't think it would work out. I thought I would end up failing and drinking, turning into a drunken wreck just like my mother.

It's only been two months since she was brought into this world and yet, I love her. I love her so much, more than I ever thought was possible.

A year has changed my life, only a year ago I lived here, on this very street. My business was down the road, I lived with my fiancé, everything was perfect.

Or at least I thought it was.

I thought it was so perfect.

I thought everything I did was a mistake, i thought my destiny was with Nick.

But if it wasn't for this last year, I wouldn't have her. She is the best thing to ever happen to me.

How is it that, what you think at the time is, the biggest mistake in your life, can bring the best thing to ever happen to you? I needed to leave to be in the place I am now.

After a lot of struggling, I somehow manage to balance the unreal amount of bags I have to carry a long with the baby carrier as I walk down the cobbled street in my heeled boots.

I probably should've planned ahead. I don't even know where we're going to go, where we're going to stay.

I haven't arranged anything.

No one even knows we're here.

It would be so easy to just turn around, call a cab, wouldn't take long.

We could be out of here and back in LA before we know it.

No one would even have to know.

While all these thoughts flow throughout my mind, it's like my legs just go. I'm not controlling them. But they're just walking and walking and before I know it, I'm outside.

Outside the block of flats. The block of flats I once lived in. The block of flats I thought I once burned down. The block of flats that he is in.

Before I know it, before I can even think, my legs instantly carry me and I'm through the door and in what seems like a millisecond, I'm standing outside, outside his door. Number 7. The flat that we had so many good memories in. The flat we called our home.

What am I even doing here? Who says he even wants to see me after all this time? I'm thinking this yet it doesn't stop me. It doesn't stop me from knocking anyway. It doesn't stop me from waiting for him to answer. It doesn't stop me from looking up to the door opening to a site I never expected to see. The site of my ex fiancé standing hand in hand with his ex wife.


	2. Run

**Thank you so much to anyone who has reviewed, favourited o r followed this fic or any of my others, it means so much. I keno not a lot happens but I hope this is okay and you enjoy it. If all goes to plan, I am planning on writing another chapter which will see what happens with Carla and Nick.**

Run. Run. Run.

I run and I run and I don't stop. All I have is Holly, she's all I need.

I know I left the bags there but I just need to go, to get away.

I can here him shouting my name.

"Carla, slow down"

"Carla"

"Carla"

I don't know where I'm going. I just run.

After what seems like forever, I take a right turn into what looks like a small dark alleyway. Gently leaning the back of my head against the cold brick wall, I stop and listen.

Silence. 

I can't believe it. How could I be so stupid?

One year. 365 days. One whole year and I seriously thought he wouldn't have moved on?

He's the greatest guy I've ever been with. He was too good for me. Everyone said it. And those who didn't were thinking it.

Of course he moved on. I was stupid to think otherwise.

But, why her? Leanne. Leanne flamin' Battersby.

My ex husband's ex wife. My ex fiancés ex wife, well I guess she's not his ex anymore.

He could have anyone, why her?

I guess everyone always did say.

Not to me but I knew they were all thinking it.

It's what they were all thinking.

Nick is the love of Leanne's life and Leanne is the love of his, anyone who thinks they can get in the way of that is mistaken.

And I was.

Where does this leave me?

How could I have been this stupid?

I flew over 5,000 miles and why?

Because Roy said he missed me.

I guess Roy read the signals wrong. How could I think he could miss me? After everything I did to him.

Cheating on him. Lying to him. Letting him find it out from Tracy Barlow whilst I was lying in a hospital bed.

Tracy Barlow of all people. She must have loved it.

She would have loved to see that.

Me turning up, making a fool out of myself, bags in one hand a baby in the other.

Thinking we could just start over.

"You could always come back, just for a visit, Nick misses you, we all do"

Yeah. He missed me alright. He missed me so much that as soon as I was gone he shacked up with his ex.

Suddenly, I'm pulled from my thoughts as Holly begins to wail loudly in my arms.

What am I doing?

"Come on sweetheart, don't worry it's okay," I gently attempt to soothe my 2 month old daughter.

Eventually, she manages to calm down, only emitting the occasional whimper.

That's when I realise, all my money, my phone, everything is in my bags. My bags I left right outside my exes flat where I earlier humiliated myself.

I can't go back and get them and risk it, risk seeing him.

How could I have been so stupid?

I need to go. I know I need to go.

But, I can't seem to move, move from this dirty brick wall in this tiny little alleyway. I just can't.

It's like all the strength, all my energy, all the love has been drained out of me.

Eventually, I manage to slowly find my way out and back on to the rather nostalgic street.

I feel Holly wriggle against me again and I know she's cold and tired but I don't know what to do or where to go.

So, I walk.

I walk and walk until I sharply turn round a corner at the end of the street when I suddenly crash into an oncoming person.

"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry, sorry I was just..."

Suddenly, I stop talking and, for a moment, stop breathing.

Of all the street corners and all the people to foolishly bang into.

"Nick"

 **Again, Thank you so much for reading. I'm sorry that it's not that good but hopefully the next will be better. Hope to do update soon. A review, follow or favourite would mean so much, if you enjoy this. Constructive criticism is welcome as I know I'm not the best writer. I really hope you liked it, please review and let me know your thoughts.**


	3. Two Words

**Thank you so much for the reviews on the other chapters, I really hope you like this one if you do, please leave me a review to let me know what you think and about the ending of this chapter. I will hopefully be also updating "Fear" and "Waiting" in the next few days.**

 **As I mentioned on one of my other stories, sometimes for some reason random words become underlined even though I didn't underline them so you will probably just need to ignore them.**

"Cup of coffee?" I hear Nicks gentle voice echo throughout his familiar flat.

"Yeah go on then," I reply back as I sit down on the sofa that I have so many memories on.

"Can I have it..." I begin before I'm cut off.

"Yeah, I know, black with one sugar, right?" He finishes my sentence for me.

At that, I can't stop a huge smile from forming on my face as I nod towards him.

As he comes over to the sofa, he places my coffee down on the small coffee table, the same one we bought together.

I hate how far he's sitting from me. It's like we're complete strangers but I guess we are.

"I don't think I really thought this through," I chuckle gently whilst looking down at the slightly fidgety Holly in my arms.

"Here, let me hold her,"

After a moment to think, I slowly pass her over to him where she settles down in his arms.

She looks so relaxed, so peaceful, so at home.

I reach across to the wooden table and pick up my coffee and slowly take a sip.

I look over to where Nick still sits with a now peaceful Holly who is looking up at him. I can see her looking up at him with the green eyes she got from me. She looks fascinated by him, but comfortable.

"So, how have you been?" I try to make polite conversation with him, desperately trying to put off the topic I knew would come up.

"I've been good, how about you?"

"Yeah I've been fine,"

"You know what fine really means?"

I smile to myself when I realise that he remembers. Though I still can't get something else off my brain.

"Feeling insecure numb and..." He starts to recall one of our fondest memories from when we were just friends, before everything got complicated.

"Yeah I do know!" I suddenly snap. I see from his facial expression, he's stunned. I couldn't help it.

Thinking about those old memories forces me to think about everything, everything I ruined. Everything I lost. Everything that Leanne now has.

Leanne. 

I'm desperate to ask him but who knows the response I could get.

"I'm sorry for snapping," I quickly try to apologise for creating the awkward atmosphere that has lasted ever since.

"Don't worry about it,"

We both exchange an awkward glance which I quickly break, leaving nothing but another awkward silence.

How did we get here? Sitting on opposite ends of a sofa we would spend many nights together in an awkward silence, barely maintaining eye contact.

I can't handle it anymore. I need to say something, anything.

"How's Leanne then?" I try to casually mention her name in an attempt to uncover the truth.

"Yeah, she's okay," he answers back, leaving me even more intrigued then before.

"How's long has that been going on then?" I attempt a small smile to try to show him I'm not bothered by what they get up to. I don't know why I'm even trying. He knows me too well.

He knows I'm not okay with him instantly going back to his ex. He knows I can't handle it. And, he knows why.

"I've been comforting her recently, if that's what you mean?"

"Oh please," I scoff. "I saw you both! Leaving your flat, holding hands, loves young dream, right?" I suddenly start to shout as I stand up from the sofa.

I'm not meaning to but I can't help it. I can't bare the thought of him, my Nicky with some other woman, and the worst thing is that it's not even some other woman, it's his ex wife.

"You don't know, do you?"

Confusing instantly takes over me.

What don't I know? What does he mean?

All I can see is the look of dread covering his face.

"You're gonna need to sit down for this," he says in a gentle tone, whilst attempting to lead me back to where I was sitting.

"Look Nick just tell me, what don't I know?" As I look into his familiar emerald eyes, I'm shocked by the look on his face, the look of hurt, dread and sadness.

There's a moment of silence where I can see him, trying to tell me, I can see his mouth moving but he just can't bring the words to come out.

The words, the words I don't yet know but from the look on his face, I just know I'm going to hate.

Thoughts rush through my mind and yet anything I thought was so far from the truth.

Two little words he said and it is like my heart stops beating.

"It's Simon..."

 **Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think about the cliffhanger and what you think about what has possibly happened to Simon.**

 **Follow me on twitter: lily000154**


	4. Hoping

**Thank you for all the lovely reviews. This is a flashback chapter to show what happened with Simon, I hope you like it!**

As Simon walked into his grandad's house he could tell something was different. He could feel it.

He expects to walk into the lounge of number one to see his grandad Ken doing a cross word or reading a book as he usually would but, as he swung open the door to the lounge, he knows something had happened.

Sitting at the table were Ken and his mum Leanne.

Simultaneously, they both look up to him and he can see how their faces are filled with dread and he just knows that it isn't going to be good.

"Mum, what's going on?" He asks in a worried tone.

"Si, come and sit down," Leanne says in a gentle tone as she points towards the empty chair around the table.

He nervously walks to the table and takes a seat as there is an uncomfortable silence which leaves him feeling more agitated than before.

"Mum, grandad, what is it?"

He watches as Ken and Leanne share an awkward glance to each other as they decide how to go forward.

"It's about your dad," Ken eventually says.

As soon as he hears the mention of his dad, Simon knows what it is.

He just knows, he's spent his whole life having his dad let him down and he knows that it's just happened again and he didn't even have the courage to say it to his face.

"He's not coming, is he?" Simon directs towards Ken and recieves a sad nod in return, confirming his thoughts.

Simon hadn't seen his dad in over two months so Peter had agreed to come down and spend a couple of weeks with him. He was so excited to finally spend some time with his Dad, just the two of them.

"Si, you know he would have come if he could but something came up," Ken starts to attempt to comfort him before he's interrupted suddenly by Leanne.

"Oh don't sugarcoat it Ken, it's just Peter. That's what he does, he lets him down and leaves us to pick up the pieces once again. All because he can't be bothered to come and spend one measly week with his son," Leanne snaps angrily, fed up of Peter constantly letting Simon down which meant she had to deal with his foul tempers and outbursts.

"Well at least he has an excuse why he doesn't spend time with me because he's all the way down in Portsmouth," Simon quickly snaps back. Even though he's angry at his dad, he can't help but jump to his defence against his mum.

Looking up, Simon feels a pang of guilt as he sees how clearly hurt she is by what he said.

"You know what Simon," Leanne gulps as she desperately tries to hold back the tears which are fighting to escape. "I try my best, you may not think it's enough but I do have a reason. I have to work in order to pay the bills and to buy everything you have because it's hard for me,"

Simon instantly regrets what he had earlier said as he sees her reaction.

"The only excuse he has is that he's too busy taking his new girlfriend off on holiday."

As Simon gasps, Leanne realises what she just said and starts to feel incredibly guilty. She gives Ken a look to apologise. They had both agreed that it would be better if Simon didn't know that Peter had agreed to go on holiday with Sharon to visit her family in Madrid because she had already booked the tickets.

"Simon, I'm sorry," Leanne begins to apologise before Simon interrupts her as his chair suddenly crashes to the floor when he stands up.

Quickly, he grabs his backpack and walks towards the door, feeling a rush of anger rise from within him as the door slams loudly against the wall before he exits.

As he speedily leaves number 1, he hears both his mum and grandad calling his name but he doesn't stop. He just needs to get out of there.

It's around 10 pm and the street is quite dark except for the street lights as Simon sits on the bench outside the salon finishing the bottle of vodka that he had stolen when he went into Dev's shop without anyone noticing.

He just needs to forget. Forget his dad cares more about his girlfriend than him, forget his mum cares more about his job than him, forget how alone he feels.

As he feels a sudden dryness in his throat, he realises he's finished the bottle and places it down on the bench as he starts to make his way towards the flat above the kebab shop he shares with his mum.

He stumbles slightly but manages to keep his balance as he starts to cross the road.

Without looking, he hurriedly starts to step across the road, oblivious to the car heading right for him until he's lying unconscious on the floor as the driver desperately tries to check for a pulse as he calls an ambulance.

Whilst hoping and praying, more than anything that he hadn't cause his death.

 **I hope you enjoyed it, please review, I love reading them so much! The next chapter will hopefully explain any loose ends.**


	5. Your eyes

"His room is down here," Nick says gently as he can see how distressed I am as we hurry down the hospital hallway towards where Simon is.

"Look, just try and calm down." He tries to settle me which just makes me frown at him. How can he expect me to be calm when no one told me that my step son was hit by a car and has been in a coma for the last three weeks.

Three weeks.

Three whole weeks.

No one even bothered to tell me.

There's no guarantee he'll even wake up.

No one told me.

"This is it," he tells me as we reach room 293.

As I place my hand around the cold metal door handle, I feel Nicks hand rub up and down along my arm, encouraging me to go forwards as he carries Holly in his other arm.

Entering the room, I'm shocked by his appearance.

He's just lying there, not moving.

If it wasn't for the tube coming out of his throat, you would just think he was asleep... at least until you go round to the other side of his hospital bed.

I feel tears spring to my eyes and threaten to drop as I catch sight of his still bruised and cut face. If this is how he looks after three weeks, I dread to think how he looked after the accident.

We both sit down as I just stare at him, willing him to wake up even though I know it's no use.

We both suddenly look up to the door as it opens and Ken walks in.

He doesn't even look shocked to see me as he then says "Leanne told me you were back."

His tone quickly turns to shock as he sees Holly tightly wrapped in her blanket in Nicks arms and he realises just who she is.

"Sorry, I just wanted to see him," I momentarily distract Ken as he comes round towards where we are.

"Yeah, don't worry Carla. You have every right, I'm sure he would be glad you're here," he says to me which causes me to smile. Though I know what he is saying is probably untrue, it brings comfort to me all the same.

"Can I?" I hear Ken ask me as he gestures towards Holly who is looking up to Ken in awe.

I nod towards Ken as Nick hands her up to him and she quickly settles in his arms.

"She's beautiful Carla," I smile proudly. For once, I feel I have something I can be truly proud of.

I never thought I could love someone this much. Not until the day I gave birth a little over 6 months ago.

"She looks just like you," everyone always said this, everyone said she was the spitting image of me. Except for one, small detail. As I realise, with Ken's observance, he's bound to notice, I start to feel agitated.

I desperately start to think of excuses, something, anything that can mean I can just take Holly and get out of here now but I'm too late.

"He's got your eyes though, Nick." he gestured towards Nick, completely unaware of the significance of what he just said.

His face instantly drops as he registers what he said and he looks back to me as I desperately try to avoid his eye contact.

Ken, realising he said something he shouldn't, quickly hands Holly back over to me as I look at Nick, seeing the shock and hurt on his face.

"She's mine?"

 **Please review if you like it and are still interested in this story.**


	6. Until

Silence.

I try to speak. I can't.

Silence.

"When we're you going to tell me? Why did you-" I can see Nick desperately trying to put his words together to get some answers and I cant help but feel a huge rush of guilt as I see Ken sitting next to Simons bed looking awkward.

"Look Nick, it's a long story." I start to explain as I lift Holly from his arms and gently settle her once again.

I look up and see his face, a look of confusion, hurt and betrayal spread across it.

"What do you mean it's a long story? It's a simple question!" He suddenly exclaims as he stands and starts to shout.

I flinch. It's been a year but the way he was talking, the way he was acting, it scared me. It really did.

I try to act normal, like nothing happened but I know he saw me flinch. I can see it from his face and I know he regrets it.

"Look, Nick this isn't really the place to talk about this, is it? Can we go back to yours? I promise I'll explain everything." I say as I see him nod guiltily as he grabs his coat from the back of his chair and stands up.

"I'm sorry Ken, it's just I need to-" I start to say before Ken cuts me off.

"Don't worry about it, Simon would understand," he nods sympathetically towards me as I start to walk with Holly towards the door and out of the room.

Walking through the hallways of the hospital once again, I don't dare to speak.

I try to give him time to process everything, hoping by the time we arrive back at the flat that he will be able to understand.

The car drive back to his flat is long. Long and silent.

I spend the whole journey desperately trying to read his emotions from his face.

I used to always be able to tell what he was thinking but now, now I don't know anymore.

After all this time apart, we've changed so much that I'm not sure we could just go back to the way we were.

And even though I wish it hadn't come out like that, at least I'm telling him the truth now. Finally.

Most of it, at least.

Walking back into his flat is so much more different than earlier.

No polite small talk. No reminiscing about the old times.

We just sit on the sofa, just like earlier as I put Holly down in the baby carrier I had left when we hastily made our way to the hospital to visit Simon.

"Why did you lie?" He asks suddenly.

"I didn't," I try to explain before he cuts me off.

"What do you mean 'you didn't'? I saw your face in there, I saw that you knew the baby you had kept from me for the first 6 months of her life was mine. You knew she wasn't Roberts'." He starts to raise his voice again.

I try to cover it up but I can't handle it. I can't handle the memories brought back by the name.

His name.

If I think about him, I'm instantly brought back to it.

"I didn't at the start," I start to explain again.

"What do you mean?" He asks in a more reasonable tone, staring, confused towards me.

"I honestly thought she was... his," I can't bring myself to say his name. I just can't.

"The hospital got the dates wrong."

"Wait. I thought you said you had a DNA test before she was born? You said you knew for sure," he asks and I can still see the hurt on his face.

"I didn't, I'm sorry." I take a deep breaths before continuing. "I didn't think I needed to, I was so sure."

"You weren't sure though, were you? How could you not even try to make sure? Robert said you could use his DNA for a test and you lied to me about it?" He exclaims in anger once again.

I feel a tear run down my face as I realise the stupidity of my actions.

"The date the doctors told me meant it couldn't be your baby, I didn't think I needed to check."

I look at him and can see him trying to take in everything he has heard.

"You still should have."

"I know and I'm sorry, I really am." I look up at him.

"How long have you known?" He asks me.

"It always just speculations, I didn't know for sure until-" I suddenly stop and look up to him, praying he didn't realise what I started to say.

Of course he did.

 **I know that ending is a bit confusing but hopefully the next chapter will explain the whole DNA situation. Thank you for reading. Please review.**


	7. All for nothing

"Until?" He asks me as I'm once again left speechless.

"It doesn't matter," I quickly try to recover although I know it's not that simple.

"No no no, Carla. You said it was just speculations until. That means you knew for sure. How could you have found out for sure?" He says in confusion, the desperation clear on his face and I know I have to come clean.

"Okay," I take a deep breath before beginning, knowing he probably wasn't going to be happy about what I have to say. "I started noticing, not long after she was born so I realised that I just needed to know for sure but I didn't know how."

I see him looking intently towards me as Holly wriggles, asleep in her baby carrier and I smile down to her.

"I needed to do a DNA test," I confess.

"You needed my DNA for that, though?" He questions, clearly hurt by my actions.

"Not necessarily yours." I watch him as his face drops and he realises what I'm saying.

That someone he loved, someone he trusted betrayed him. That they knew that he had been separated from his daughter for the first six months of her life and did nothing to tell him.

I see the glint of anger in his eyes which is all too familiar that I have to remind myself that this is Nick, he would never hurt me.

"Who?" He demands angrily.

I stay quiet.

"Who?" He repeats.

"It wasn't their fault, I asked them and they helped. They were doing me a favour." I protest.

"Who?" He persists.

I can't answer him. I've already caused so much heartache and I can't bear to cause any more.

"Right, let's see." He sighs in annoyance. "Well they have to be related to me, I know they prefer the most direct relations so who's it between?" He thinks aloud as I sit in silence, ashamed.

"There's David, I mean he did cause me brain damage so why wouldn't he go behind my back?"

I feel a tear fall from my eye as I can see how clearly distressed he is by the fact that someone went behind his back.

It's obvious he is still finding it hard to trust people after what I did. Well, what he thinks I did.

"I bet it's him, isn't it? Isn't it?" He shouts but I can't bring myself to reply, just praying he would calm down.

"He's gonna pay for this," I look up as he starts to leave the flat and I have to resort to grabbing his hand desperately and pulling him back.

As he tries to pull away from me once more, I realise there's no other option.

"Nick, it wasn't David. I swear"

"Then tell me who it was!" He demands.

"It was Gail," I declare as he freezes before taking a step back, in shock.

I expect him to question me. But, he doesn't.

"When?"

"About 3 months ago," I say after a pause as we both sit back down on the sofa and I can see a tear run slowly down his face.

"3 months." He repeats.

"Why didn't you come back earlier? You knew she was mine and you just stayed away?" He says and I can see how heartbroken he is.

It's the same look when he found out about what Robert and I supposedly did.

"I'm sorry Nick," I say, desperate to make it up to him.

I don't know what I expect.

I turn up after a year of him not seeing me with the news that he has been a dad for six months without even realising.

How could I expect for him to do anything other than show me where the door is?

And that's what he did.

"Sorry, just isn't good enough this time."

Just like that.

I came all this way, after all this time.

All for nothing.

 **Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts and if you have any suggestions for this story.**


	8. Go

**There's a bit of a twist at the end which I hope you understand. I hope you enjoy it. It's set on the day after the previous chapters.**

"Morning, you look rough." Michelle says to me as I walk into the Rovers back room and sit on the sofa.

"Can you blame me? Thanks for letting me stay last night btw," I reply, cradling Holly against my chest.

"Don't worry about it. It did come as a bit of a surprise though," she raises her eyebrows at me.

"Yeah I know, call it a spur of the moment type thing."

"So," she looks at me. "Are you going to tell me what happened with Nick then?"

"Well it could have gone better." I reply bluntly.

"What are you up to today then?" She asks me.

"I'm gonna go and visit Simon again. I think I'll need to go and see Aidan, Kate and Roy before I go." I answer before I look up to see her shocked look.

"What do you mean go Car?"

I can see how upset she is. I can't stay here though. I just can't.

"I can't stay here Chelle." I look away just so I don't have to see the look of hurt on her face again. I can't handle the guilt.

"Why not? You said that when you left but why can't you stay here? You've gotten through harder stuff than a bad break up in Weatherfield."

If only she knew. If only she knew the truth.

"I've gotta think about Holly. I've got to do what's best for her." I pause as I think through everything.

"You haven't told anyone I'm here, have you?" I panic as I fear who she could have told.

"What? No, only Steve."

"Don't worry, he promises me he won't tell anyone," Michelle tells me upon seeing my worried look.

"Well no offence but Steve's word doesn't exactly give me that much hope for him to keep his mouth shut." I say moodily.

"Hey, do you mind? He's actually got a lot better at keeping quiet when he needs to and that is my husband and the father of my unborn child you're talking about." She says with a smirk.

"Sorry," I answer, unable to stop a smile forming on my face at how happy she is. I haven't seen her like this since Ryan was born and she was with Dean. It might not have been the most ideal situation but she was truly happy.

"Anyway, that reminds me." Michelle says as she gets up from the sofa where we were sitting and goes over to the table, picking something up before bringing it back over and handing it to me.

"Oh my god, it's beautiful." I say, looking at the 20 week sonogram photo in my hand.

"Also, we don't need to call her an it any more," she rubs her stomach proudly as I can't help a tear of happiness from escaping my eye.

"It's a girl? I'm so happy for you." I tell her as she moves closer and wraps her arms around me. I can feel Holly starting to wriggle as she wakes up from her nap.

"There'll be less than a year between these two," she gestures towards Holly and the small picture now in her hand.

"Look here Holly," I point to the picture Michelle is holding up as Holly stares intently, looking confused. "This will be your little cousin and when she's born you can both play together and have lots and lots of fun, yeah?"

I let out a little laugh upon seeing her little face seemingly light up.

I can't believe I'm so lucky. She's my everything.

As I look back up to Michelle, I see the smile also on her face.

"What?" I ask.

"Nothing, it's just nice seeing you happy." She replies.

* * *

"I'd better go and get dressed and head over to the factory." I tell Michelle as I walk back in to the back room, now showered and dressed and holding Holly in my arms.

"I thought you didn't want people to know you're here?"

"The workers will be on their lunch break. Hopefully Aidan hasn't left yet and I'll be able to catch Kate some other time, maybe invite them both here so they can both properly see Holly again before I leave." I tell her.

"You're definitely leaving then?" She asks sadly.

"I'll come and visit and it's been this way over the last year and you've still been able to see us."

"Seeing you both over a Skype call isn't quite the same Car. And what about when this little one is born?" She asks, placing her hand on her stomach.

"We'll come back and visit, I promise." I tell her.

"It's not the same," she replies.

I go over to her, handing over Holly. "Why don't you two spend some time together whilst I go and see uncle Aidan?" I say to Holly as Michelle smiles.

"I'll see you both later on then," I say to both of them, kissing Michelle on the cheek and Holly's head before leaving through the back, hoping no one sees me.

As I walk out the back yard of the rovers and into the ginnel, I suddenly regret leaving at all.

I should've texted Aidan and Kate and got them to go to the rovers.

This is all too silent. Too lonely. And too soon.

I emerge from the ginnel and walk along the street keeping my head down, hoping to remain unseen.

The walk to the factory is far too long and I can't stop myself from jumping at the slightest noise, the silence is all too foreboding.

I have to keep assuring myself I'm imagining it.

There's someone walking behind me.

No, there isn't. No one's there.

No one's after me.

It's not him, he's not there.

It's my mind playing tricks on me.

It can't be him. Not again.

I manage to carry on walking down the street, having convinced myself it's just a figure of my imagination, it's not true. He's not there.

I manage to control myself.

I manage to believe what I'm thinking.

I manage to until I feel a sudden tug on the back of my hair as I'm pulled into an alleyway and my back is thrown against a wall and I find myself coming face to face with him again.

The man who put me through one of the worst moments in my life. The man who everyone thinks I lost everything for. The man who couldn't take no for an answer.

"Robert."

 **Thank you so much for reading. I really hope you liked it. Please please please leave a review? Let me know what you think will happen, what you think of the twist and the whole story in general. Thank you so much for reading!**


	9. Broken

**This is a really really short flashback chapter. Here's a bit of a warning though as it does get really quite dark and contains sexual violence so if you aren't comfortable with that then stop reading now.**

"You wanna take this upstairs?"

Carla crashes against the door as Robert holds her there as she returns his aggressive kisses.

As they open the door and enter the small hotel room, she tries desperately to forget any guilt she might be feeling. But, she can't.

She just can't.

She can't get Nick out of her head. What is she doing? He's been so good to her. She can't do this to him.

As Robert pulls away, she is about to say something, tell him to stop but instead she's forced onto the bed with him on top of her.

She pushes her hands against his chest, "wait Robert, this can't happen."

"Don't worry," he tries to reassure her which just leaves her unsettled as he continues to kiss her despite her reluctance.

"No, Robert. I mean it." She says but this time, he doesn't stop to let her talk.

"Robert," she practically shouts as he continues to claw at her clothes, leaving violent kisses over her face and neck.

"Robert, get off me now!" She continues to yell as she feels him tug at her trousers and pull at the buttons of her shirt.

She can't let this happen. Not again.

She tries, she pushes, she shouts but he doesn't stop.

"Please."

Tears streaming down her face, she realises there's no getting away. There's no Nick to come and save her.

There's no one.

She made sure of that.

And now she's paying the price.

She continues to cry, push, scream, shout but there's nothing she can do to stop him from putting her through the worst thing she has ever been forced to endure once again.

There's nothing she can do until she's lying on the bed in the small hotel room, her clothes scattered everywhere, her make up smudged, just lying.

Broken.

 **Thank you for reading. Please leave a review? If you haven't seen, there is an updating schedule on my profile but I may update more often if I get lots of reviews and have the time.**


	10. Revelations

**I hope you enjoy it, it's pretty long and tense. It's a continuation on from chapter 8.**

I stand, my back leaning against the wall as I holds my hand, trying to soothe the pain caused by Robert's harsh grip as I shiver, looking up at the man I fear the most.

Robert stands there, looking at me with a menacing, terrifying expression, clearly enjoying watching me in fear.

He steps towards me as I panic.

"Please leave me alone," I beg him, wrapping my arms around my body, attempting to protect myself.

"Please," I repeat as a tear falls down my face and I can't stop the memories of what he did to me coming back.

"I thought I saw you yesterday but I wasn't quite sure. How come you're back?" he says, completely ignoring my earlier statements.

"Just leave me alone and I won't tell anyone what you did, alright?" I try to reason with him as I try desperately to act like he isn't getting to me, like he's not bothering me.

"Oh come on Carla, we both know you're not going to tell anyone, you never will. No one would ever believe you, not Nick, not Michelle and certainly not the police. It would be Frank all over again." He tells me with an evil smile and I can't help but gag at the mention of his name.

He comes towards me as my eyes widen in fear, once again.

"Now, why are you here?"

"It's none of your business." I answer back.

"None of my business? I think you'll find it's 50% of my business actually."

I look up at his claim and can't help but let the shock and hurt cover my face.

"Aww, poor Carla. Did Nick not tell you?" He mocks as I can't stop more tears from running down my face at his words.

I can't believe Nick would betray me like that. He may not know the details but as far as he thinks, I slept with him whilst being engaged to Nick and yet he thinks it's completely fine to give him part of his business.

"Of course he did." I tell him, even though we both know it's not true.

He lets out a laugh as he looks at me once again, in a way that I can't help but feel uncomfortable.

"Anyway, where's the kid?"

"What 'kid'?" I ask him, feeling the anger rise at how he even dares to mention my daughter.

"Well our kid. I mean when you left you were what three or four months pregnant? Usually a kid comes out of that. Unless you had another miscarriage?" He smirks again and I can't help but feel disgusted at the way he emphasised another.

Even now, I'm shocked by how evil he is.

"She's not yours," I tell him.

"Oh, it's a she? Well I've always wanted a daughter so, where is she then? I'd like a proper introduction." He says clapping his hands together and standing up straight, as if he actually believes I'm going to take him to her.

"I will never ever let you near my daughter. She's Nicks, not yours."

"That wasn't what you were telling a Nick before you left though, was it?" He says smugly.

"Don't you even dare. We both know why I had to say that."

"Oh please, more and more lies Carla." He taunts me.

I can't bare it. I can't bare being so close to him, trying to hold it together and act like I'm okay. It's why I left. I couldn't stay here and see him all the time. I just couldn't.

Why did I ever think it would be any different now after having a year away?

I guess I just convinced myself that he would have left or something and everything would just work out.

"I've had enough of this," I say angrily, attempting to push past him, out of the alleyway but I can't find a way around him.

"Move." I demand but he still stands motionless, just staring at me.

I try to go round him but before I know it his harsh grip stops me as I feel pain shooting through my wrist as he pushes me back towards the wall.

I freeze. In shock. In pain. In fear.

I try to speak but can't and I just find myself silently praying he wouldn't hurt me. Not again.

"I don't get it Carla, you just love playing the victim but it's just us. We both know you wanted it really." He starts to close in on me as I feel a tear fall down my face and I can feel myself losing my strength but I'm still determined to fight back.

"No, I really didn't."

"Oh come on, you were all up for it before, kissing me, pulling at my clothes. Don't tell me you didn't want it then."

Every word he says just makes me feel sick. The fact I thought he was a nice, ordinary bloke and the fact I even considered sleeping with him makes me disgusted with myself.

"I was drunk and-" I start but I'm cut off.

"Ahhh 'you were drunk'?" He mimics me. "You can't keep using that an excuse, I mean come on... when are you not drunk?" He laughs as I decide to continue.

"I was drunk but then I realised what I was doing, I realised what a mistake I was making and I told you no, I told you to stop. But you wouldn't." I approach him with every word as I try to make him face up to what he did yet he still doesn't look affected by anything I've said.

The tears are now flowing freely and I'm not even trying to stop them.

It's not like he hasn't seen them before after what he put me through.

"Excuse after excuse Carla." He says slowly, looking me up and down in a way that leaves me wanting to hurt him or do anything to him just to make him feel even a tiny bit of the mental and physical pain he's caused me.

"Anyway, if you really believe what you're saying about how you apparently said no-"

"I did say no!" I shout at him in anger as he continues.

"Then why didn't you tell Nick? If you are so sure that I'm this evil monster who forced himself on you then why not tell him? Or anyone for that matter." He laughs, continuing to taunt me and enjoying watching me squirm.

There's a moment of silence as I think about what to say next but I'm interrupted by the sound of shouting from near where we are and, looking out, both Nick and Gail come into clear view.

"How could you do that to me? You could have done something! You're meant to be my mum and yet you let my daughter, your granddaughter spend her first few months without me." I hear him yell as their argument continues and I can't help but feel a huge wave of guilt wash over me.

I should never have burdened her with it.

"Uh oh. Looks like Nicky boy's in a bit of trouble." He laughs as I look up at him in disgust.

"Anyway, since you're back, I'll expect you to come and see me as soon as about childcare arrangements," he says with a smile.

"There won't be any. She's not yours!" I say slowly, trying to get the message through to him.

"Yeah yeah. When you need to find me to discuss it, I'll probably be at the bistro or my flat. It's up to you where you wanna meet." He says as I continue to stare at him leaving, nothing but hatred in my eyes.

"Although the flat would probably be preferable, you know, if you want round two." He says, laughing as he walks off into the distance, leaving me, my back slumped against the wall as I shrink to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees before letting out more of the tears I had been so desperately trying to keep from falling.

 **I hope you liked it. Please please please leave a review to let me know what you think and if your enjoying this story. There's plenty more to come as long as people carry on wanting to read more. Thank you for all the lovely reviews I've received!**


	11. Truth

I walk through the doors to the backroom of the rovers, the same place I was sitting just hours earlier but it feels so much different now.

I feel different now.

I sit down on the sofa and I just don't feel comfortable. I just feel dirty and used. I know I made a mistake, a huge mistake coming back here and I need to go. I need to escape here, I can't risk seeing him again.

I stand up, unable to sit in these clothes anymore. I need to leave, I need to shower or do anything to try and wash away the feelings that seem to be soaked into my skin.

I need to get away from them.

Before I'm able to open the door, I hear footsteps outside the door. I step away, my erratic heart beat being the only other sound I can here as I hear them step closer.

It isn't him. It's not him. Not here. Not now.

I know it isn't him, it can't be him. There's no way but it doesn't stop the fear overwhelming me.

What if it is him?

As the door swings open, I let out a deep breath of relief as Michelle steps into the room, Holly in her arms.

"What's up with you?" She asks me, clearly concerned.

"Nothing, I'm fine." I say, taking Holly off her and bouncing her steadily whilst holding her close to my body.

"Well you clearly aren't. Has something happened?" Michelle persists.

"I said I'm fine, didn't I?" I snap at her as she looks taken aback which leaves me immediately regretting saying anything.

"No, Chelle, I'm sorry." I apologise.

"Did you go to the factory then?"

"Not in the end, no" I tell her as she gives me a puzzled look.

"Well, what do you mean? What happened?"

"It doesn't matter, okay. I'm gonna go for a shower. Can you take her?" I ask her, gesturing towards Holly.

"Well sure but-" she starts.

"Thank you," I cut her off before heading upstairs, desperate to wash the feeling of his hands on my wrist, on my body off of me.

* * *

"Thanks for earlier." I tell Michelle as I come back into the back room, having showered and changed.

"No problem." She tells me, sitting next to me on the sofa as Holly sleeps in her carrier next to us. "So, are you going to tell me what happened earlier?"

I don't say anything. I can't. Robert's right. She wouldn't believe me, none of them would.

"I can't help you unless you tell me what's happened Car," she tells me as I still stay silent.

She thinks she can help me. She doesn't know the half of it. She can't help me. No one can.

"Chelle, I know you're trying to help but please, just drop it?"

"Okay, but just remember I'm always here if you want to talk."

* * *

"Here, I'll take it." I tell Michelle as I take the bin bag in her hand out of it. "It's the least I can do to thank you for letting me and Holly stay here."

As I leave through the back door, I look up at the sky which is quite dark now.

I walk over to the bin, putting the bin bag inside before I hear voices in the ginnel and go over and lean on the brick wall next to it.

"Why shouldn't I be jealous?" I hear Tracy shout.

"You're being stupid Trace."

Robert.

"Am I? Everyone knows you slept with her. Now she's back, what's to stop you sleeping with her again?" I can't help but feel sick at the words leaving both of their mouths.

It didn't cross my mind for a second that they might still be together. She was so angry when she found out that we had supposedly slept together.

"Because I wouldn't do that to you, I swear." Every word Robert says just makes my skin crawl.

Just knowing that he's a few metres from me makes me want to be sick.

I can't handle it anymore and end up walking back inside the rovers.

I try to get the thought out of my brain, desperately but it's impossible. I can't.

I can't let her carry on being with him and not knowing.

I need to tell her. I need to make her realise who he is, I can't risk her getting hurt. No matter what she's done to me, she doesn't deserve what I was put through.

I can't let her be put through that.

I have to tell her the truth.

I have to tell everyone the truth. I can't hide it anymore.

 **Thank you for reading! Thanks again if you left a review, if you could review this chapter it would mean a lot? Your comments always make my day. I hope you liked it and understood it. Please let me know if you're still interested as I have more ideas if you are!**


	12. Mistake

**This one is slightly on the longer side. I hope you like it and it all makes sense, quite a few introductions of new characters from the show who haven't been in this story yet in this chapter.**

"Morning sleepy head." Michelle says as I enter the back room of the rovers, running my hand through my hair as I let out a yawn.

"Yeah, couldn't sleep." I reply.

"Are you alright?" She asks after a moment as I catch her concerned eye.

"Just tired, that's all."

"You sure?" She asks, suspiciously, to which I nod.

"If you say so." She says although I can tell she's still unconvinced.

* * *

I slowly wake up and adjust to my surroundings as I realise I must have fallen asleep on the sofa with Holly in my arms.

"I've got some people who would quite like to see you." Michelle says as she comes through the door.

"Who?" I ask curiously before a smile taking over my face as I realise who has walked through the door.

"Kate, Aidan, oh my god." I exclaim excitedly as they walk over to me.

"It's been too long sis." Kate says, meaningfully as she hugs me.

"That's true." Aidan says as he also hugs me.

"What are you doing back then?" Aidan asks me as we all sit down on the sofa, Kate taking Holly out of my arms as she bounces her up and down, tickling her face, causing us all to smile at the sight.

"Just came for a visit." I say, not wanting to explain that I actually believed there would be a way back for Nick and I.

"Well, how long are you staying for?" Kate turns to face me.

"I'm not sure at the moment, I need to check flights back to LA. I've still got some things I need to do before I go." I say, while they nod along, completely oblivious to the bombshell I may have to drop.

"I know you probably don't want to see him Carla and I totally understand but... it's just I'm sure our dad would love to see you whilst you're here? Holly too." I look up to Kate and I see the look in her eye and I know how much it would mean to her. I can't stop myself from nodding back.

"Yeah, we might as well see him whilst we're here. He is her granddad after all." I smile.

* * *

"I'm just gonna go down and sort out some stuff at the factory, I'll be a couple of hours. Don't worry, Kate and Aidan asked to spend some bonding time with Holly." I tell Michelle as I leave the room, deciding to walk through the pub.

I expect everyone knows I'm back now.

As I walk through, its clear that some people were in the dark. I know I need to just get it over and done with though.

I can see the factory workers and smile over at them as their faces are a mixture of shock and, what I hope is, joy.

Looking further around, it's clear not everyone has the same joy.

Sitting in a booth near the centre of the pub is Nick's family. All gathered round the table are Sarah, Audrey, Kylie, David and Gail. While most of them seem to be looking away, hoping to avoid making eye contact, I can see Gail's disapproving stare towards me as I leave.

I don't know what I expected. It wasn't like I've got a good name around here. I don't blame Nick's family, it's not like they know the truth. They think I ruined Nick's life just when we were happy. Well, I guess I did.

* * *

Walking down towards the factory just reminds me of yesterday. It reminds me of Robert, it reminds me of the way he grabbed my hair, it reminds me of his forceful grip, the memories.

I shudder as I pass the alleyway, unable to suppress a slight gag at the memories brought back from seeing him.

I'm so distracted, so in a trance that I don't even notice who is walking directly towards me, almost causing me to bump into him.

"Nick, are you alright?" I ask awkwardly as I expect him to be just as dismissive of what I have to say as he was two days previous.

"Yeah I'm fine, is there anywhere we could go? To talk?" He asks me as a hopeful look spreads across my face.

"I've got to go and check up on a few things at the factory but maybe I could pop round to your flat afterwards for a coffee? We can talk then?"

"Yes, I'd like that." He smiles gently. Although I can tell he's still angry about me not coming back and telling him sooner, I can see he's slowly coming around to the idea.

* * *

"Argh!" I exclaim as I place my now not full cup of coffee onto my desk and attempt to use tissue to get the coffee off my white blouse.

"Great. Just flaming great." I say to myself before my head shoots up towards the direction of the entrance to the factory upon hearing the noise of the door opening and shutting shortly after.

"Hello?" I shout, trying to remain calm even though I can feel my erratic heart beating in my chest.

"Is anyone there?"

Still, no reply. I can barely see through the blinds that I foolishly shut as I still try to calm myself down.

Getting up from the chair I was sitting at, I slowly back towards the wall at the opposite end of the office, silently hoping and praying it isn't him.

As I look around for something, anything to protect myself, I'm forced to pick up a nearby stapler. A vain attempt at protection, I know. But, I just need something.

Steps, I hear them. They echo around the factory.

Shoes.

Man's shoes.

No, it can't be.

I'm imagining it I am.

I completely regret closing all the blinds of the office, feeling completely helpless as I hear him approaching the door.

"I heard you were back."

I breathe out, trying to calm my heart rate as I place the stapler down on the desk.

"Hi Johnny," I say, disinterested as I sit down at my desk once again, putting my head in my hands. I can't help but feel slightly angry at him for scaring me like that, though know he didn't mean to but I still haven't completely brung myself to forgive him.

"Are you okay?" He asks me with a concerned look as he walks down to what is presumably now his desk.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Really? You look quite tired." He observes as I pull a face at him.

"Oh charming!" I laugh as he smiles back at me slightly.

"Where's Holly?" Johnny inquires.

"Kate and Aidan popped round and said they'd watch her for her bit so she's spending some time with them." I tell him as he, once again, smiles at the thought. "I'm just getting a few things done before I go again."

"Go?" He asks me, slightly shocked.

"Yeah it's just a passing visit, I'm sure you'll be gutted to hear." I say, sarcastically, looking down to the work in front of me.

"Well I am actually." He says which shocks me. "I know you may not think of me as your dad and I totally understand but I'd really like a chance. Maybe a chance to be a grandfather to Holly?"

I can hear the desperation in his voice as he asks me and I can't stop myself from nodding towards him.

"I'm ready to give you a chance Johnny, for Holly, if no one else."

"Really? Thank you." He tells me as he continues to ramble on but I don't listen. My mind wanders elsewhere.

Elsewhere being the man who saved me when I almost ruined everything. The man who I used to be engaged to. The man who is the father of my daughter.

"Johnny I'm sorry, I just remembered. There's somewhere I have to be." I quickly excuse myself before leaving the factory and racing over to his flat, about to press the buzzer for him to let me up.

It's like everything, everything that's happened has just made me realise that I let him go too easy. I dropped a bombshell and then I left, I left without even giving him a change to forgive me.

I didn't fight for him, I was too scared.

This time I'll fight, not just for me but for Holly too.

I know this is right. I should never have given up so easily. I should never have let Robert get the better of me and let the man I love go. That was a mistake.

I'm not going to make that mistake this time.

"Nick, let me up. I need to talk to you."

 **I hope that all made sense and you like it. Please review if you still like reading this story as it means so so much to me? Let me know any opinions on it or if you have any suggestions of whatever. Thank you so much for taking the time to read!**


	13. Giving in

**This chapter completely revolves around the conversation between Carla and Nick. I'm really unsure about this to be honest but oh well. I hope you enjoy!**

"Are you okay?"

I can't bring myself to say anything. It's like as soon as I saw his face, the strength and the determination just abandoned me.

"Carla?" He says, obviously confused to my trance like state.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

I open my mouth to speak again but I just can't find the words.

I want to tell him. I want to tell him the truth. I want to tell him how I feel. I want to tell him everything.

"I understand, you know?" He says, suddenly as I stare at him.

We still haven't moved from where we're standing, just inside the door to his flat.

"What do you mean?" I ask him, relieved to have finally found the words.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm still angry with both you and my mum but I get it. It must have been hard to have to deal with the prospect of coming back here."

He doesn't know the half of it.

"Yeah."

"I know this place holds a lot of memories for you. Some good, some, well..." He trails off.

"LA holds a lot less bad memories. I think that's the main reason that I took her there. It's a safer place for me." I explain while he nods.

It's obvious he doesn't understand what I mean, not completely. It's a safer place for me both physically and mentally.

He doesn't understand because he doesn't know but I need to tell him. I need to tell everyone.

"It's why we need to go back there." I can see he's visibly stunned by my confession.

But, there's no more time for lies and deceit. It's all over now. Lies have ruined us before and I won't let that happen again.

"You're going back?" I can see the hurt on his face as he questions me.

After a pause, I manage to get out a reply, "Yeah."

"I haven't even got to know her. I've held her once, Carla. Once." I can't bring myself to look him in the eye and see the same hurt look. Just the sight of him feeling that way because of me is enough to break my heart.

"She's six months and she's my daughter. I don't even know her middle name. There are so many things I haven't been able to do."

"You can come and visit." I attempt to make it up to him, though I know my attempts are useless. I just keep on hurting him and hurting him. "She'll know who you are and she'll know that you love her." I promise him.

"It won't be the same though. It isn't exactly easy to just hop on a plane and fly over 12 hours. Think about how much I'll miss along with everything I've already missed." I feel a tear run down my cheek before I quickly wipe it away, desperately trying to avoid him seeing me being so pathetic.

"I'm sorry."

"You don't need to be sorry. You just- you need to think about her. Think about what Holly would want. I know it would be hard for you to stay here but you've got through so much worse than this and you're strong."

I can see in his eyes how much he believes what he's saying but he's not right. I'm not strong. I'm weak. I'm pathetic. I'm worthless.

"Nick-" I start before he interrupts me.

"Please Carla. Just please think about it." He pauses as we both look into each other's eyes as the feelings I thought were buried start to rush back. "I don't want to lose you again, either of you." He moves closer to me, putting his hand on my cheek as he wipes away the tear stains on my face with his thumb.

"I love you." A tear runs down his cheek almost simultaneously as to one runs down mine as he says the words. The three precious words.

Three simple words that can change everything in an instant.

"I love you too."

I don't hesitate before leaning towards him, pushing my lips gently against his as he kisses me back.

As we slowly walk over towards the bedroom, returning each other's kisses, my back suddenly collides with a wall. But, all the fear has gone.

The fear of not being loved. The fear of being seen as damaged goods.

I feel safe with him, I always have.

 **Thank you for reading. Please leave a review to let me know what you think. I have plenty more stuff to write so let me know if you're still enjoying this. I wasn't originally planning on taking this chapter this way but it just kind of worked out like that. Either way, I hope you liked it.**


	14. Life Changing News

**I hope you enjoy!**

The sound of Nick's phone ringing sounds throughout the flat as I slowly stir from my sleep.

"Ergh, hello." Nick moans as he answers his phone.

"What?" He then continues.

"Oh my god, what's the time?" I anxiously ask him but I'm ignored as he continues to talk down the phone.

I quickly lean down to beside the bed where my trousers are and grab my phone out of my pockets.

5 missed calls from Michelle.

I quickly call her back, oblivious to Nick's phone conversation.

"Michelle? I'm so sorry." I quickly apologise as she cuts me off down the phone.

"Don't worry, it's fine as long as you're okay. I think Holly's been missing her mummy and actually I've been missing her too. Where are you darlin?" She says sweetly as I anxiously look to Nick, trying to think of a response.

I think for a moment before I decide to just be honest.

"I'm at Nicks."

I wait for a response but, instead, I'm met with silence.

"Michelle?" I say, waiting for a response.

"Oh right well. Take your time I guess." She says with a giggle although I can hear the wariness in her voice, knowing that I had my heart set on leaving.

I look up from the bed to see Nick, still on the phone whilst quickly getting dressed.

"Michelle I've gotta go, I'll talk later." I hear her refusal sound in my ear as I hang up the phone.

"What's happening? Who is it?" I ask Nick as I can see the seriousness etched across his face.

He ignores me as I carry on trying to get his attention whilst slipping on my clothes, still scattered on the floor from the previous night.

"Nick?"

He quickly holds a hand over the phone as he turns to me, "I don't know, it's Leanne, it's about Simon. Somethings happened. I'm not sure." He tells me as I can't stop the thoughts floating throughout my mind.

Everything's a blur as I voice my questions, over and over, trying to get Nick to answer me. I know he needs to talk to whoever he is on the phone but I need to know.

I can't bear it.

Not knowing.

He could be awake. He could be okay. The sweet little boy, my stepson who may have hated my guts at the start but is a good kid really. I try to think positive but, yet again, I can't stop my mind from being plagued by the terrifying thoughts that it could be the opposite.

Nick hangs up the phone as he rushes out of the bedroom, grabbing his keys and shoes.

"Nick, wait." I quickly put my heels on that lay buy the door before following him out.

"Nick, slow down." I beg him but he still continues to his car before getting in. Luckily, I manage to get there with just enough time to get in before he starts to speed away.

"What did Leanne say, Nick? Is he okay? Is he-" I have to stop myself, unable to say the word as my heart races, a combination of the fear of whether Simon is okay and the nervousness of how fast he seems to be driving.

"I don't know. I- I. I don't know," he says, shakily as I feel a tear run down my cheek.

I don't push for any more answers as it's clear he's just as fearful as I am and I don't want to make him feel bad for not knowing. I've done enough already.

* * *

After a seemingly never ending drive, we arrive at the hospital and quickly rush inside.

We arrive outisde his room but we can see somethings up as we approach. Leanne, Peter and Ken are gathered outside.

"What's happened? Is he okay?" I ask upon seeing their distraught faces.

"We don't know, we haven't-" Leanne starts as Ken pulls her in for a hug and Peter just stands there, motionless, much like Nick.

Before I even get a chance to try and comfort Nick, the door to Simon's hospital room swings open as the doctor walks towards us and the five of us stand, looking at him.

Unable to speak. Unable to move. Unable to even breathe.

Just waiting for the news which has the potential to change all of our lives.

 **Sorry to leave it on a cliffhanger but I've got some ideas for the next few chapters which you will hopefully like. Please leave a review if you have the time and let me know your thoughts and whether you think Simon has woken up or not? Thank you again for all the lovely messages. They mean so much!**


	15. Grief and Shock Returns

_**6 months later...**_

"Are you going to be okay today?" Nick asks me as I put on the earrings on the table in our flat while he comes round to me, pulling me close to his body as he wraps his arms around the middle of my plain black dress I'm wearing for the funeral.

"As okay as I can be, I guess." I reply solemnly, remembering the times I've spent with him, the memories that now only I will cherish. "What about you?" I ask, knowing that he's likely to be just as upset as I am.

"I'm getting through, we both will, together." I smile lightly to him as we stand, in silence, thinking of the life lost.

"If this is how we are reacting, I dread to think how Peter and Leanne are doing." I say, wiping away a tear that cascades down my cheek as I think of them.

"It'll be tough on them but they're both strong and they'll get through this, I'm sure." He tells me sweetly as I lean into him, allowing him to place a kiss on my forehead.

"I wonder if Peter will be going back to Portsmouth after this." I say, concerned for the man I once called the love of my life.

"I don't know. I think his family need him here right now to be honest but who knows?" He says gently as I nod.

* * *

"How you holding up?" I ask Peter, quietly in the corner of the Rovers as he heads to the exit.

"I don't know." He sighs, sadly. "I'm trying to be strong, for Simon if no one else. He was his grandad so it's bound to be upsetting for him and I know if he seems me upset about my dad then it'll just make things worst for him." He tells me as we walk out of the Rovers, leaving the reception and slowly going over to his Dad's old house.

"Ken was Simon's grandad but he was your Dad Peter and you need to make sure you're looking after yourself too. Sometimes, you just need to let it out." I tell him as we sit down at the table in the living room of the house.

"I know, I am it's just... hard, you know? But thank you. I mean it. You've been a rock these past few months since he was diagnosed. It means so much that with everything with Simon and his recovery that you helped us all even though you didn't need to." He says appreciatively.

"Of course I did, Peter. I know we aren't together anymore and I'm with Nick but Ken was still part of my family for a long time, as were you and as was Simon. I'm always here for you, for all of you."

"Thank you."

Before I even have the slightest chance to respond, we're both disrupted by the door swinging open and two people walking into the living room, two people I recognise, two people I've known in the past and two people I never want to talk to again.

"Tracy, Robert, what are you doing back here?" Peter asks, shocked as I try to stay calm despite the mere site of Robert causing my heart rate to increase as the fear rises within me.

"Why didn't you tell us? We could've gotten back in time to say goodbye. He was my dad too." Tracy says, tears rushing down her cheeks.

"It wasn't my choice, it was Dad's." He tells her.

"Well why didn't he want me to know? I should've known. I should've come back. It wasn't fair!" She starts to shout as Robert still stares at me and I shift uncomfortably in my seat, trying to ignore the memories brought back just by his presence.

"Because he didn't want you to Tracy. You left! That was your choice to leave... with him!" He says angrily, his emotion taking over him. "Do you know what else wasn't fair? You leaving us, your family, for him! We needed you Tracy. Your nephew woke up from a coma having lost some of his memory and he needed us to be a family and help him through. But, what did you do? You ran off and left because he asked you to. You left your dad, your brother, your nephew, even your own daughter!"

"I still deserved to know." She says, quietly.

"Maybe." Peter admits. "But, dad didn't want you to Trace. He said he was too disappointed in what you did. I doubt it would've made any difference anyway. I told you the details of the funeral and you still managed to turn up late to that!"

"We were at the other side of the world Peter! It wasn't exactly easy to get a plane from Australia to Manchester!" She shouts as she starts to pace, Robert and I still remaining silent as we watch the argument between Peter and Tracy unfold.

"Excuse, excuses. These are all just excuses. Tracy you can't deny that you just left and abandoned us when we needed you for him." He gestures towards Robert as he stands up straight from where he was leaning on the wall.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Robert asks Peter, slightly menacingly.

"Yeah, what is that supposed to mean? What's he ever one to you?" Tracy asks Peter as I shiver at her naivety, if only she knew what he's really like. The anger is still clear as I can't bring myself to tear my eyes away from Robert, petrified at what he could do if I didn't watch his every move and ensure we are a safe distance apart.

"I'll tell you what he did. He took my sister away from her family. He brain washed her into thinking that completely abandoning her daughter and her life was a good idea. That's what he did!" He shouts back as I can't help but flinch at the anger evident in his voice.

"Don't you dare Peter, don't you even dare. I did not abandon Amy! She understands." Tracy says as Peter scoffs.

"Of course she does." He says sarcastically as I finally manage to get the courage to leave.

"Look, I'm really sorry but I've got to go get Holly from Michelle. I don't think Nick's got her and it's hard enough for Michelle to care for a 2 month baby let alone a year old one too." I start to ramble as Peter smiles and nods at me.

"Yeah don't worry about it. Thank you for everything, I mean it." He says as he pulls me in for a hug and I shift uncomfortably, although I'm not able to see him, I can still feel Robert's eyes on me, like he's mentally undressing me and I can't bare it.

"It's okay." I quickly say before escaping the house as quickly as possible, ignoring the look Tracy's been giving me.

Once I leave the house, I stand still for a moment, attempting to steady my breath which had become erratic at the sight of Robert.

* * *

"Go on through."

I quickly head into the back of the rovers, anxious to see Holly after not seeing her for hours but instead I'm met with Nick carrying her out of the back room.

"Hey," I say, surprised.

"There you are. I was looking for you but I couldn't find you so I just decided to come and get her." Nick kisses me on the side of the head as he wraps his arm around me. "Where've you been?" He asks as we stroll out of the Rovers.

"Oh I was just making sure Peter was okay. He was a bit upset." I explain as we cross the road.

Before he has a chance to respond, we're distracted by Robert and Tracy walking onto the street out from the Barlow house.

I meet Robert's glare as Tracy scowls towards us.

"Did you know that they were back?" Nick asks me.

"Yeah they came in when Peter and I were talking." I confirm as he nods. "Come on," I quickly distract him as I gently pull his arm along, convincing him to walk along with me back to our flat.

"Mm I think this one is tired." Nick rocks Holly as she lets out a giggle in his arms. "I think she's excited for her birthday too." He says in a babyish voice.

"You do realise she's going to be one? I doubt she understands." I correct him.

"No, I think she understands more than you think." He tells me, sweetly.

Despite the shock of seeing Robert and Tracy again, I can't help but smile at the sight in front of me.

I can't believe how lucky I am. That he could forgive what he thought I did and even agreed to marry me.

Even though I've never been this happy, I know it will be short lived.

When Tracy and Robert announced they were leaving, I was able to surprises the memories and pretend I'm okay. I didn't need to tell Nick the truth. I didn't need to tell anyone. But now, it's different.

Now, they're back and I'm in the same situation I was in no more than six months ago, knowing I need to tell the truth, but not being able to bring myself to.

I know that now he's back and I'll see him, I won't be able to suppress the memories of that night.

I can't keep it to myself. Last time I tried, I had to leave, I had to go, I had to escape.

It didn't matter. I had nothing.

Now, I have too much to lose to just leave like before.

As we continue walking along the pavement towards the flat, Nick turns to me. "Are you okay?" He asks worriedly.

"Yeah I'm fine." I say quickly.

"Everything's going to be okay, you know? I do trust you. I know it was a mistake and you'd never do it again. I understand."

I feel a lump in my throat as he says the words.

"Yeah I know you do." I smile though I know it won't be for long. It won't be for long that we can be like this, smiling and happy. Once he knows, he'll see me differently. I know he will.

He'll see me broken, used, damaged.

But maybe, that's all I am.

 **I hope you liked and understood that. The story will continue on from here being a little under 6 months in the future of the previous. I hope you like the idea and everything. Please leave a review if you have the time to let me know what you think? Thank you for reading. I really apologise for the bad ending but I couldn't get it to go write. I hope you liked it anyway.**


	16. For Nick

**I'm so sorry for how long I've left this but I was on holiday and had bad writers block. This isn't very good but I hope people are still interested in this story and you hopefully enjoy it anyway. If I'm being honest I wrote this in the middle of the night ages ago and I can't really remember what happens so I don't even know whether this is okay or not. I'll stop rambling now oops.**

"Do we really have to go? Please Nick." I beg him as he carries Holly in his arms towards the door of our flat.

"Yes, yes we do. Now come on, you." He giggle slightly as I follow him towards the door.

"But why?" I moan, like a little child causing him to stifle a laugh.

"Because it's polite to turn up." Nick tells me as I frown.

"Polite? Um since when has Tracy Barlow given a damn about being polite?" I mock. "Please can we just stay here and not go. Please Nick? Neither of us owe anything to Tracy. We both don't like her. And don't even pretend you like Robert after everything that's happened." I forced myself to say his name.

I tried to tell Nick. To tell Nick the truth about what happened between Robert and I. The alleged one night stand whilst I was engaged to Nick.

I wanted to. I wanted to, so badly. But, I couldn't. I'd rather he carry on believing that I slept with Robert willingly when Nick and I were together than him knowing the dark, dark truth in what I was forced to endure.

"Come on, it might be fun." He says and I give him a look of confusion.

"Fun? Really? I'm not sure 'fun' is the way I'd describe a night spent welcoming Tracy Barlow home after a tough few months being God knows where with her creep of a boyfriend." I'm unable to stop myself as I let out my frustration. Luckily, Nick doesn't question the end of my sentence as he persists in convincing me that going to Tracy and Robert's leaving party is a good idea.

"Just think of it as a night having a drink in the rovers with me, Chelle, Johnny, Aidan and Kate instead. That can be completely separate." I look up at him, prepared to refuse once more until he interrupts me. "Please? For me?"

I spend a moment looking at him, contemplating my decision, though I know there is no way I can say no to him. "Alright fine, for you. But, I'm not speaking to either of them." I say as I see how much it clearly means to him.

"And you don't have to. Thank you, come here." He pulls me into a hug close to him as Holly wriggles in his arms and we leave the flat.

* * *

"Are you sure we can't just go back now? I'm sure Simon won't mind." I give Nick a pleading look as we push Holly in her prom down the street.

"Yes I'm sure. Come on, we don't have to stay long but we haven't really had much time to go out besides Ken's funeral just me and you." He says as I nod.

As we come up to Simon and Leanne's flat, he reaches forward to press the buzzer as we go up the stairs.

"Hey, thank you for this." I tell Leanne as we enter, smiling.

"It's no problem. Simon has been really looking forward to it." Leanne replies as she leans down to look in Holly's pram, tickling her as she lets out a tired giggle while waking up from her nap.

"Mm the Holster has too." Nick tells her as I frown at him.

"The Holster? Really Nicky?" I say.

"What? I think it's cute." He replies, laughing.

"If you say so." I tell him as Leanne laugh along too.

While we continue to laugh, Simon exits his bedroom, smiling at the sight of us.

"Carla, Nick." He announces as he goes over to Holly and starts to tickle her as she lays inside her pram, just like Leanne previously did.

As soon as we had gotten back on track and Simon had recovered, we knew we wanted him to play some part in Holly's life. Both Nick and I had been step parents to Simon at one point and, after everything that had happened, we just wanted to make sure he knew we were both there for him.

"Hello Holly." She lets out a giggle as Simon tickles her under her chin, causing Leanne, Nick and I to smile.

"You're both sure this is okay then? Us leaving her with you for a few hours." I ask, not wanting to intrude.

"Of course it is Carla. Anytime." Leanne smiles to me as I try to hide the surprise in my voice at what she said.

"Thank you."

"Right then, we'd better go." Nick instructs me, lightly tugging on my arm to go out of the flat as I groan.

"Don't worry Leanne we won't be long, hopefully." I say as we leave the flat, ready to go to the Rovers for the 'welcoming home' party I've been so looking forward to.

As we walk along towards the pub, I couldn't conceal my nerves. I was able to laugh a and joke about it earlier but now, it's becoming more real that I'll have to face the, both in just a few minutes.

I'll have to try to pretend that Robert's face doesn't bring back horrible memories. I'll have to try to pretend that I won't be feeling uncomfortable the whole night.

I know it will be hard but it's what I have to do, for Nick.

 **I hope you liked it. I know this whole will she won't she tell him is probably quite boring but I'll try and move on the story soon. Please review if you have the time as they really keep me motivated to write more and I'm really struggling at the moment. Sorry for the ramblings and bad quality of this but I hope you enjoyed it Anyways. Thank you for reading! The next chapter should be a direct continuation.**

 **Also, I'll still try with weekly updates but I doubt it in the upcoming weeks due to exams but if I have the time and motivation I'll try my best.**


	17. Discoveries

**This is a direct continuation from the last chapter. Sorry for how long I've left it. I hope you like it.**

"Oh god." I let out my worries as we enter the Rovers.

"What's up?" Nick asks me as I stare back at him.

"Nothing." I quickly shrug it off, determined to get through this night for Nick.

"Look, don't worry. Why don't you go and join Kate and everyone? I'll get the drinks in. Red wine?" He asks me, lovingly.

"Make it a large one." I tell him before going over to the booth where Johnny, Michelle, Kate and Aidan are all sat.

"Hey." I say, calmly as I sit down next to Kate in the booth, quickly putting my arm around her.

"I wasn't expecting you'd turn up? You know, considering everything." Michelle says awkwardly as Nick pays for our drinks from Liz at the bar.

"I'm not turning up for them." I gesture towards the other side of the rovers where Tracy is standing next to Robert, with a smug look. "Im just having a quiet drink with my family."

"Fair enough." I notice Michelle eyeing me suspiciously as she replies.

* * *

"Thanks, sweetheart." I kiss Nick on the cheek as he sits down, having brought over our drinks.

"It's okay." He smiles, looking into my eyes.

"I'm really glad you two are okay now." Michelle says, creating a slightly awkward atmosphere on the table as we smile back at her.

"Well, people make mistakes and at the end of the day, we love each other." Nick tells me as I struggle to reciprocate the genuine happiness etched across his face.

"Are you okay?" Nick asks me, clearly concerned as Michelle, Kate, Aidan and Johnny are all too busy in their own conversation.

"Yeah" I answer vaguely, trying to control the feeling of uncomfortableness as I once again connect eye contact with Robert from across the room.

"You sure? You don't look it. You look quite pale." He tells me as he places the palm of his hand lovingly on my forehead.

"Like I said I'm fine!" I snap as he looks at me, stunned. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just- I'm just not feeling that great, that's all. I'm sorry."

"No, there's no need to apologise, I shouldn't have made you come here. I know you didn't want to. Shall we go?" Nick offers, worriedly.

"No, no, it's fine. Look, we're here now so we might as well stay a bit longer." I say, before continuing, "I think I might just go and get some air, I'll be back in a few minutes." I tell him as I stand up from the booth.

"Wait, I'll come with you." Nick says, following me before I stop him.

"No, don't worry it's fine. I won't be long. I just need some air." I tell him again as he sits back and I start to walk out the back of the rovers, trying to ignore the feeling that everyone's eyes are on me.

* * *

I lean against the wooden frame in the back yard of the Rovers, letting the breeze of the wind blow against my skin as I try to calm my breaths.

I feel a sudden tap on my shoulder as I turn round, expectantly, only to be met by Robert as the breath hitches in my throat.

"What do you want?" I ask, anxiously, backing into the wooden frame, essentially trapping myself unintentionally.

"I just need to know you're gonna keep quiet." He says, menacingly as I can't help but feel instantly intimidated.

"I've kept quiet for a year and a half now. What makes you think I'm gonna say anything now?" I desperately try to keep a straight face and pretend I don't have the sickly familiar feeling of fear radiating throughout my body.

"Oh I don't know, you're settled with dearest fiancé. Or ex fiancé shall I say? And of course my baby." He taunts me.

"I told you, she is not your baby." I tell him firmly.

"If you say so." He laughs in my face as I struggle to keep myself composed. "Just remember, keep it zipped alright?"

"Keep it zipped about what?" We both quickly turn to look at the door of the rovers which Peter begins to walk out of as Robert backs away from me.

"Nothing. We were just catching up, weren't we?" Robert nods towards me before quickly going inside as Peter turns to me.

"So are you gonna tell me what that was really about?" Peter asks me, concerned.

"I don't know what you're talking about. We better get back inside, don't you think?"

I quickly rush back inside, anxious to escape the look of pity he is giving me and carry on with the night in the hope that Peter brushes off what he witnessed.

Even though I know he won't, even though I know the truth will come out, whether I like it or not.

 **Thank you so much for reading. I really hope you're still enjoying this fic. Please leave a review to let me know if you are? They always mean the world. Hopefully I'll update this soon. I'm just really busy with exams and stuff at the moment. I'm going to try and update 'Past Symptoms Can Bring Back Fears Of The Past' soon too if you liked that.**


	18. Suspicion and Jealousy

"Hey darling, are you okay? Feeling any better?" Nick asks as I walk back into the rovers, sitting next to him.

"Yeah I'm fine thanks sweetheart. Like I said, I'm just feeling a bit under the weather." I tell him as I see Peter walk back into the Rovers, eyeing me suspiciously. "Is the offer still there to go? It's just I think I need a lie down, you know?" I ask him, anxiously.

"Yeah sure, don't worry it's fine. We'll just go get Hol from Si and Leanne's. Night then everyone" Nick says to Johnny, Aidan, Kate and Michelle who were all absorbed in their own conversation.

"Aww are you guys going already?" Michelle asks.

"Yeah I'm just not feeling too good, a bit tired. We'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I say to all of them.

"Night, love you" seems to echo from them as we exit the pub.

As soon as we get out the door, I put my hands either side of Nick's face, pulling him towards me as I kiss him, passionately.

"What was that for?" He says, slightly shocked but smiling.

"I love you, you know that, right?" I ask him.

"Yeah I do and I love you too." He replies as I smile back at him.

We start to walk across the road and it's like, just for a moment, I feel invincible. Like nothing can stop me, stop us from being happy.

But the feelings short lived as I hear my name being called from behind me.

"Carla? Hey, sorry. I need to talk to you." Peter says, starting to catch up with us as I stand, unable to say anything, petrified at what he might say.

"Oh hey Peter, what's up?" Nick answers for me as I look, blankly forward.

"I was just wondering if I could have a quick word with Carla here." Peter tells Nick as he nods.

"Why don't I go get our little Holster and I'll see you back at home," he tells me, kissing me on the cheek, before walking towards Leanne's flat.

"Peter, what do you want?" I eventually speak as the awkward atmosphere increases.

"Let's go sit down for a minute instead of just standing in the middle of the street," Peter gestures to the bench down the road, outside of Audrey's salon before walking off towards it, not even giving me a chance to reply.

We both sit down next to each other with a small gap in between us as I wait for him to speak, but he doesn't. Instead, I decide to before it gets even more awkward,

"Peter, what is it you want?" I ask him, desperately.

"The truth." He answers me, bluntly.

"How much did you hear?" I ask him, wondering what it is he suspects.

"Enough." He answers, bluntly again.

"Well I don't know what it is you're thinking but you're wrong." I tell him, not willing for him to ruin everything, fearful that if Nick was to find out the truth that it would be he end of us, the end of our happiness.

"Alright then, you tell me. What have you kept quiet about for a year and half Carla?" He asks me, expectantly as I desperately try to think of something, anything to replace the truth.

Before I even get a chance to answer, he's interrupted me.

"Carla, listen to me. You need to tell the truth. Whatever it is, it's better out in the open." He says as I just sit in silence. "You've got people here for you, Nick, Chelle, Kate, Johnny, Roy, Aidan... me."

"Sorry Peter, I don't know what you're talking about." I tell him, refusing to back down.

"Carla, I know what I heard. That scumbag was threatening you. And let me tell you, I'm gonna find out why." He says before walking off as I let out a breath of relief.

* * *

"Hey sweetheart," I say, walking into the flat that we now share again. Even though we aren't quite back to the way we were before as we're still not engaged, we're just as happy, if not happier. Or at least that's what I tell myself. "Hey darling," I tickle Holly's chin as I walk over to the sofa where her and Nick are sitting and join them.

"What was that about then?" Nick asks, slightly abruptly as I look up.

"Oh, he was just wondering about how Simons been whilst he was gone, that's all." I tell him calmly, smiling at Holly's little giggle as I tickle her feet.

"Why hasn't he asked it before now, he's been back for quite a bit, hasn't he?" Nick asks as I look at him in the eye, realising his usual look of concern is more one of jealousy, if only he knew.

"Umm I don't know. I guess he just had a lot of other stuff on his mind before. Anyway, I think we should put little one to bed in a minute, she seems tired." I try to change the subject, hoping he'd just drop it.

"Well why did he need to ask you. Surely Leanne would be more likely to know?" He asks as I take a deep breath, not willing to get into an argument after how happy we have been lately.

"I don't know, okay Nick? I'm putting her to bed." I tell him, picking up Holly as I take her through to her cot in our room as I watch her slowly drift off to sleep.

Despite everything, just the sight of her so peaceful brought a smile to my face.

As I stand for a moment, watching her, I nearly jump as I feel arms go around my stomach from behind me before I realise I'm in the safety of Nicks arms.

We continue to stare down at her for a second, our daughter.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I know." I tell him, turning to face him as he pulls me close to him, wrapping me in a hug.

As I stand there, next to my sleeping, safe daughter, in the arms of the love of my life, I can't help but feel lucky.

Despite everything, I've managed to come out the other side better and now, here I am, happy as ever, our perfect little family.

 **I'm really sorry about how long I've left this. I've been so busy but exams will be over in a few weeks so hopefully I'll be able to update it more regularly by then. Please leave a review if you like it and have the time as they always mean the world. And thank you for all the support on this fic! I hope this was okay.**


	19. Preparations

**I'm so sorry for how long I've left this but I've been really busy recently. I'm not sure if I can promise weekly updates from now on but I'll try my best. I hope you enjoy this chapter though!**

"Morning babe, did you have a nice sleep?" Nick asks me as we sit down at the kitchen table of our flat.

"Yeah thanks sweetheart," I lie, slightly shaken after the nightmares that plagued my dreams, ones that hadn't occured in months.

"What are you getting up to today then?" He asks me sweetly as I cradle holly on my lap.

"Just an ordinary boring day of work in the factory, nowt special. What about you?" I ask him.

"Pretty much the same as you. Just need to sort out some stuff at the bistro but first I need to drop Hol off at nursery for the day." He says leaning forward as he lovingly strokes our daughter's cheek, bringing a smile to my face.

"Anyways, I'd better get off. I'll see you later Nick, love you. Love you Holly, bye bye baby." I say as I kiss them both on the cheek before leaving the apartment.

* * *

"Morning everyone." I say slightly chirpier, than I was earlier in the morning as I walk up the factory stairs to unlock Underworld.

"Morning Mrs Connor," everyone replies, sounding in a much worst mood than me, presumably due to the fact it's 8:30 in the morning on a Monday morning and they've got a whole day of work.

"Morning Mrs Connor," Sally says on the way by, in an extremely different tone of voice to the one shared by most of my staff.

"Ooh Sally, hang on." I quickly tap her on the shoulder before moving to the side, allowing the rest of the staff to pass through us.

"Yes, Mrs Connor?" She asks with a smile, clearly feeling special that I've pulled her to the side.

"I just remembered that I need to pop over to the Rover's and see how Michelle's doing so can you watch that lot for me whilst I'm out? I won't be long." I explain, but before I can even finish she's smiling and nodding, wildly.

"Of course I will. I won't let you down." She tells me, excitedly.

"I'm counting on it." I nod as I turn around and walk towards the Rovers.

* * *

"Hey, how are you both doing?" I ask in a hushed voice as I walk in to see Michelle cradling her two month old sleeping daughter in her arms.

"We're good. Come and sit down." She gestures as I join her on the sofa.

"Does Auntie Carla want a hold?" She turns to me as I smile to her.

"Aww, so have you picked this little angel a name yet?" I ask her, as she places her daughter in my arms who thankfully doesn't wake up due to the movement.

"Yes we have," she tells me.

"Well it's about time." I laugh. "Come on then, what is it? The suspense is killing me." I mock.

"Okay. Well, this little angel is called Juliette McDonald." She says, softly stroking the top of her baby's head as she sleeps.

As we continue to sit and talk, by the time Juliette has woken up, I look at the clock to see I've stayed for much longer than I intended to originally.

"Oh god Chelle, I have to go. I left Sally in charge and I told her I wouldn't be long but I'll come and see you soon, okay?"

* * *

"Oh god sorry-" I quickly apologise as I look up at the man I'd just walked into to come yet again face to face with my ex husband.

"Don't worry Carla, it's fine." Peter says awkwardly although I can tell he wants to say more.

"Err, I'd better go." I tell him as he looks like he's about to say something but hesitates before nodding,

"Yeah, I'll see you later." He says as I continue to walk back towards the factory.

* * *

"Hey darling, how was work?" I ask Nick as I walk into our flat to see him holding Holly as he feeds her a small bottle of milk.

"Yeah it was okay," he replies slightly vaguely. "How about you?"

"Yeah it was pretty good thanks." I walk over to them as I sit down next to him on the sofa.

"Just an ordinary day at work then?" He asks, slightly suspiciously as I give him a confused look.

"Umm yeah. What do you mean?" I look up at him.

"Nothing," he quickly replies, looking away from me.

"Right. So, I think we have most of the things ready that we need for this little ones 1st birthday party on Saturday." I tell him, smiling as I tickle Holly's feet now she's finished drinking her milk.

"Yeah." He replies, still quite vacantly.

"We just need to get the cake and blow up the balloons which we can do on Friday. But besides that and the rest of the decorating of this place, I think we're all prepared." I explain to him, although I can see from the look in his eye that he's not paying full attention.

"Yeah, sounds great." He replies to me, clearly unenthusiastically. "I think Holly wants a nap, I'll go put her down."

Before I can even get a word in, he's quickly left the room to put her down in her cot, leaving me more confused than ever by his sudden mood change.

 **Please leave a review if you have the time to let me know what you think and what you think might be up with Nick.**

 **Coming up:**

 **\- Holly's 1st birthday party**

 **\- The pressure gets to Nick until he snaps**

 **\- Peter's suspicions over Robert grow**

 **\- Carla starts to crack under the pressure of keeping what happened to her from the people she loves**


	20. No more lies

"There's my beautiful birthday girl," I say to Holly as I lift her into my arms from the cot and she gives a little smile.

"Our birthday girl," Nick says as the smile previously on my face quickly faded at his tone of voice but I try to move past it.

"Yeah our little birthday girl." I look up to him, smiling once again yet he refuses to meet my eye and I can't help but feel disheartened.

"What times everyone coming?" He asks me bluntly, going over to the sink to clear up the plates from breakfast.

"I told people around 12ish so we've got a few hours to make sure everything is set up. I know she probably won't remember this but it's Hol's first birthday and I really want us to be able to look back at it and show her pictures and everything. I just want today to be a success."

* * *

"Well this place looks great Carla," Sarah tells me as her Bethany and Gail all come into our thankfully big flat, admiring the decorations that Nick and I had put up.

"Aww thank you, would you guys like a drink?" I ask, taking them over to the drinks area as I gaze around at the party.

We'd spent the whole of the morning and Friday night decorating the flat and I can't help but feel proud of how it looks. I just wanted everything to be perfect for Holly and I can tell she's enjoying it as I look over to see her sat in her Uncle David's lap as Kylie laughs at his attempt at peek-a-boo.

After getting drinks for a few people and making small talk, I go over to Nick. However, the smile I have as I approach quickly disappears when I see the look on his face.

"Hey, are you okay?" I ask him, standing next to him.

"Hmm? Yeah I'm fine." He almost dismisses me as I look at him dejectedly.

"Nick you aren't. I don't want to get into this here because today is about Holly but I just don't understand. You've been in a mood with me all week, I don't get it." I say as he looks at me almost apologetically but still remains silent for a few moments.

"Are there many more people coming?" Nick asks me, plainly as I nod.

"Yeah a few I think." I tell him.

"Like, who?" He questions as I give him a confused look.

"Umm I'm not sure, I'd have to check my list, why?" I say but he just simply shakes his head at me.

"No reason, I just need to know if I need to get any more food out." He explains although I can't help but feel he isn't being truthful with me but I don't mention it.

"Nick?" I lean in closely towards him to kiss him but, as quickly as our lips have brushed, he's pulled away harshly,

"I need to go and see if anyone wants any more drinks." I nod in response to him as he walks off, leaving me standing alone.

* * *

As the party's in full swing, people are gathered around different areas of the flat but as I leave Holly on the sofa, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I see Nick once again standing alone. It's obvious some people had noticed the awkward atmosphere between us and I decide that we need to get past it so this day can be perfect for our daughter.

"Nick," I prepare to talk to him but he barely even acknowledges my presence before I gently shake his shoulder and he turns to me.

"What?" He asks bluntly and I can't help but feel taken aback by his tone of voice which has become a familiar feeling recently.

"Please talk to me. If something's bothering you, it'll make you feel better if you talk to someone about it. Please talk to me," I almost beg him as he looks at me with a look of what I can only presume is sadness in his eyes.

"Talking makes things better? So, how come you never talk to me nowadays?" He says as I look up at him, attempting to mask the look of panic that is no doubt in my eyes.

"What do you mean?" I ask, desperately although I'm petrified of what the answer might be, of the thought that he might know the secret that I've spent so long covering up out of not only fear, but shame. Shame that I'd let someone hurt me again and that I couldn't have done anything to stop it because I was too weak.

"Well you clearly prefer talking to other people don't you," he replies.

"Nick, I don't understand. What are you talking about?" I ask, this time completely confused by his demeanour.

He turns to me, a flash of anger in his eye which leaves me feeling slightly unnerved and it's like we're both so focused on our conversation that we've chosen to forget where we are and who's there.

"Peter." He simply says, almost in a whisper but I can hear the disgust evident in his voice as I look at him, momentarily fearing what Peter might have told him.

"What are you talking about, Nick?" I question him but before I can continue, he's cut me off.

"Don't lie to me!" He says, slightly louder, clearly catching the attention of people around as they turn to look.

"Nick," I say, trying to calm him down as I can see the anger radiating from him and I just can't understand why. Maybe, Robert was right. Maybe, he's angry because he knows that I kissed him first and he hates me for it. Maybe, he's angry because, just like he said, he just sees me as used and dirty and broken and now he doesn't want me anymore.

"Don't even try lying to me Carla. I know the truth."

 **Thank you so much for the lovely reviews. If I get enough reviews on this, I will try my best to update again within the next couple of days because I'm going on holiday so I doubt I'll be able to update over the next two weeks after the weekend. Please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed.**

 **I've probably already said this but this is a Narla fic, not a Carter one so even though Peter's in the story it is still Narla.**


	21. Break

**If there are people still interested in this story, I'm really sorry for how long I've left this and this certainly isn't my best chapter but I'm just getting back into it. I've just been insanely busy recently but hopefully I'll be able to update more regularly soon. Sorry this is quite short!**

"Nick, I don't know what you're talking about." I desperately try to conceal the tears brimming in my eyes. I can't believe it, I can't believe he knows, I can't believe he's reacting this way, I can't believe that in just a few short moments everyone here will know how pathetic I am.

"I saw you." He says as people continue to look on in confusion, including me.

"What?"

"I saw you, with him." I continue to look at him in confusion, beginning to doubt what I was originally so sure this was about as he continues. "I saw you and Peter."

"What do you mean, me and Peter?" I say but before I can say any more, Bethany has interrupted.

"Why don't I take Holly here out for a birthday walk," she suggests as I nod gratefully before they leave, thankful that, although she wouldn't remember, this wouldn't happen in front of her as the rest of the other kids follow Michelle to go on the walk.

There's a short silence as I look at him, desperately trying to decipher why he's acting like this.

"I know that you're having an affair." Nick states as my eyes widen at his accusation.

"Excuse me?" I say, not able to comprehend that he could think that I'd do this to him but thankful that he hasn't found out the truth about Robert.

"I swear to god Carla. Do not lie to me! Not again! I know the truth, I mean it's not like you haven't got form." He says aggressively as most of the guests just stand by, watching.

I can't help but flinch at his words. It's not that his anger is bringing back bad memories, it's the spite I can hear in his voice. It's the fact that the only reason he believes that I'd do this to him is that he thinks I've done it before, even though that couldn't be further from the truth.

"Nick, I swear. I didn't- I'm not-" I desperately attempt to explain, but he cuts me off.

"I said don't lie to me!" He yells, so close to my face that, if it was anyone other than Nick, I know I wouldn't be able to handle.

Aidan quickly notices my discomfort from across the room as he hastily steps in, lowering his voice as he tries to calm him,

"Mate, I think you need to calm down."

"Oh, do I, mate? Actually, I think my whore of a girlfriend needs to explain what the fuck is going on! How could you? I mean, with him of all people? Peter Barlow?"

I try to clarify the words in my mind, anxious to explain but I don't even get the chance before Nick carries on.

"You know what, why should I even wait for an answer? We all know what it's gonna be!" Nick continues, as there's a silence and people watch on, trying to figure out how they should respond. "We all know that you're just gonna lie, again. I mean, old habits do die hard after all and we all know you have a track record for being a lying, cheating bitch."

Yet again, I find myself flinching at his words, tears threatening to fall from my eyes as I watch the man I love talk about me in a way that I can't handle. It's nothing I haven't heard before, but to hear it from him is something new entirely.

"Alright, that's enough!" Johnny suddenly intervenes, pushing Nick back slightly as they exchange angry looks and I just stand in shock behind Aidan. "You need to leave, right now." He continues, speaking considerably calmer than what anyone would expect.

"Fine." Nick replies, simply, looking back at me once more before heading out of the door and I swear I can hear my heart break.

The guests of the party look around, awkwardly as I crumble. As much as I want to hold it in, as much as I don't want this to unfold in front of so many of our neighbours, I just can't help it as I'm pulled into a hug.

I don't even register who it is. I don't even register who's around me anymore.

I just break. There's no other way to describe it.

I've broken before, but there's always someone to save me, to put me back together and yet, this time, I'm not sure there will be.

 **Please feel free to let me know what you think of this chapter by leaving a review. Thank you for reading and thank you to the people who still review this fic to let me know that you're still reading.**

 **I kinda forgot to acknowledge it but after the last chapter, I hit 20 chapters and 10,000 views so I'd like to thank everyone who's read, reviewed and subsequently helped me with this fic. It means the world.**


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